• Max Mundan

To My Father Figures, Richard M. Nixon and Jack "The King" Kirby


Richard Nixon wasn’t my father

but he could have been

He could have been

with that large, ski-slope nose

and penchant to record

his most spectacular sins

but my father was nothing

compared to Watergate

or the Uncanny X-Men

and the unapparelled heroics

of colorful superheroes

like Haldeman and Erlichman

and the guy who wrote “Will”

What the hell was his name?

William Conrad? No that was an actor

Robert Conrad? Another actor I think

but he played him in the movie

not a movie, a TV movie

whatever the hell that is

Is it TV or a movie?

Make up your fuckin’ mind

but it’s the guy I’m thinking of

not the guy who played him

What was his name?

G. Gordon Liddy that was it

G. Gordon Superstar

They were the stars to me

The ones I looked up to

When there was nobody else

I wanted a father

I needed a father

but instead I had John Dean

and Howard Hunt

and Deep Throat

of course, there was Deep Throat

keeping me company

with Machine Man and Devil Dinosaur

and the other heroes of CREEP

like Reed Richards and Johnny Storm

who did their time in prison

while Nixon walked scot free

just like the goddamn Mole Man

Why did the King write it that way?

Or draw it that way?

I guess Stan was the writer

while Thor and Magneto

got their final revenge

as they became film stars

and Jack was still dead

Jack was still dead

without a penny to his name

and a national hangover

a thousand miles wide

because now everything is gate

gate this and gate that

email-gate and pizza-gate

Russia-gate and Ukraine-gate

Why is everything a gate?

Can’t they think of anything else?

Jack would have, I tell you

Jack “the King” Kirby would have thought of something

like The Absorbing Man or Kang the Conqueror

I mean, Dr. Doom, man

he could come up with a better scandal

than the ones we got now

He would embrace his evil

and give something big

something we could remember

something that would last forever

Richard and Jack knew that

they saw it coming

they were prepared

Richard and Jack knew

they fucking knew

they raised me

they made me the man I am today

whatever the hell that is

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